I haven’t read a book cover to cover in one day since probably grade school. And even then, most of the time it was just paging through, pretending to read the book so I could write it down on the very long list of books I’d “read” and look like I was as good at reading fast as Michelle was during the summer reading program at the library. Parental pressure sure makes you do weird things.

If it wasn’t a total copyright violation I’d type this whole two hundred fifty something pages here so you’d totally get hooked in and read the entire thing online and then go buy this chick’s other books. So for to make this slightly more legal, the following are quotes from Flaming Iguanas (An Illustrated All-Girl Road Novel Thing) by Erika Lopez, possibly the coolest thing I’ve read since The Bad Girl’s Guide to the Open Road. (Why yes, funny you should ask, I am a complete and total road trip junkie.) Go buy it. Or ask nicely and you can borrow my copy.

“And check it out – I highly doubt you’d find a traveler pumping you full of psycho-killer fear. No. Only people who stay at home and watch too much TV will pump you full of that crap. How the eff do they know? Look at their doors: they probably have fifteen deadbolts and an alarm system to protect their rhinestone-horse sweatshirts … The louder you laugh and the farther apart you plant your feet, the more respect you’ll get. Take up space because it’s not a school dance.” (page 112)

“The Canadian bikers had come down to Virginia from Canada just to ride these mountains for a weekend. We sat back, had some beers and the dark-haired Canadian John kept telling the quieter light-haired Canadian John jokes about having sex with sheep: “Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? – Because sheep can hear zippers a mile away.” I figured it was a Canadian thing. Like how inbreeding jokes are a southern thing and second date U-Haul jokes are a lesbian thing.” (page 124)

“I felt alone and alive in the best way. No one could intimidate me or give me crap because I had bug guts all over me and could keep a bike upright and pass a truck in the crosswinds with a war cry. I’d just been through traffic heck and now I was actually a biker who’d earned the right to spit on any road, even though I never did because I never practiced, because I knew it’d just drool down my chin inside the helmet.” (page 185)

“Graphic detail is fine as long as you don’t say it out loud.” (page 235)

Umm…, that last blurb ain’t so interesting without the drawing below it. Another reason you should read the book.

And now’s the time on Sprockets where we

A) go stir-crazy from being inside all day,

B) give in to our cookie cravings,

and

C) make a trip to the Girl Scouts table we saw at the grocery store last night.

If you’re good I’ll bring the box of what-used-to-be-called-Samoas with me to the Robin’s Nest tonight. And maybe I’ll even share.

Later!

Freelance Illustrator Steph Calvert • Steph Calvert Art | https://stephcalvertart.com

Freelance illustrator Steph Calvert is an award-winning artist with 24 years of experience working as a creative professional. She is based in McDonough, Georgia, just south of Atlanta.

Steph Calvert has expertise as a children’s book illustrator. She is an expert surface pattern designer for art licensing and creates line drawings for publishing and product design. Steph has years of additional expertise as a mural artist, creating original art, and logo design for small businesses. She is currently querying literary agents with her first author/illustrator book projects.

National SCBWI Conference, 2023
Illustration Summer Camp – The Highlights Foundation, 2021
Make Art That Sells, 2017
BFA in Computer Art – SCAD, 1999


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