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Why the Hell Do I Even Care?
I recently chatted with a colleague who casually mentioned he didn’t know he could use swear words around me. He paused, looking for the right words, and said knowing that I’m “a bit of a godfearing woman”, he didn’t know if that was okay.
It made me feel like a huge dork. Which felt weird.
Why do I get squirmy when someone brings up me going to church?
Why does it make me feel so uncool to believe in God?
And why the heck do I even care?
It wasn’t like I was directly being told I wasn’t cool… It was brought up in the nicest way. But it felt like I was being told someone couldn’t be themselves around me because I go to church.
I briefly dated this one guy ages and ages ago. I quickly discovered he just wanted to get into my super dorky pants, like, asap.
He scoffed at me when I turned him down, asking if I was one of “those people” that still believe in love.
It made me feel weird the same way the church comment did.
Like maybe there was something wrong with me.
(p.s. – That conversation marked the last time I dated that dude. Fast forward to my current happily married status with a guy I’ve been crazy about since 2004 and yeah. I do still believe in love. So that other guy can suck it.)
But why does that sort of thing happen?
Why do I feel weird for people recognizing that I’m making some life changes, trying to choose a better path for myself and my family?
As I get more involved in my church, as I read more, learn more, discuss more… I know God’s had a hand in multiple areas of my life. Dude upstairs is looking out for me. There is no question in my mind about it. We are blessed.
So why do I feel out of place when someone brings that up?
Change is uncomfortable sometimes… Maybe I feel like I’m still growing into this new lifestyle. Maybe I feel like a fraud because of my own past. Part of it? Not wanting to be seen as uncool with people I think are cool. But whether or not I’m a believer shouldn’t be an issue, right? I don’t hit anyone over the head with bible verses, I’m definitely not out to judge how you live your life. But I definitely need to get over the discomfort that comes with feeling like I might be judged for how I live mine.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this whether you go to church or not. And if you’re in the Effingham county area, you should come to Living Faith Church sometime. They’re pretty great.
Freelance illustrator Steph Calvert is an award-winning artist with 24 years of experience working as a creative professional. She is based in McDonough, Georgia, just south of Atlanta.
Steph Calvert has expertise as a children’s book illustrator. She is an expert surface pattern designer for art licensing and creates line drawings for publishing and product design. Steph has years of additional expertise as a mural artist, creating original art, and logo design for small businesses. She is currently querying literary agents with her first author/illustrator book projects.
Writing CLIENTS INCLUDE
Moonfrye.com
OC Weekly
Educational Highlights
National SCBWI Conference, 2023
Illustration Summer Camp – The Highlights Foundation, 2021
Make Art That Sells, 2017
BFA in Computer Art – SCAD, 1999
16 responses to “Why the Hell Do I Even Care?”
You’re probably the best example I know of someone promoting a good, moral life simply by living it. You’re honest, but firm and fair, and just so much fun to be around. Keep bein’ you! xo
Awww thanks lady!! Much appreciated.
Don’t ever feel weird because of what you believe or how you live your life.
Being who YOU are is a great thing.
Keep DOIN’ YOU girrrrl!!!!
Travvy T, you the best! I heart ya!
Oh Steph, this hits so close to home for me right now. Over the last few years I’ve become very spiritual, started attending church, etc. I feel like I’m on the outside of circles I used to be on the inside. I’ve been struggling socially, it’s not as easy for me anymore. My feelings about God and all my new life choices are right for me and my family and that’s what I should stay focused on. It is hard sometimes though. The people pleasing side of me fights to break out, lol. Keep on being you, you’re awesome!
Seriously, Miya. It’s something I’ve experienced in other areas of life, too… Like when you’re in a dysfunctional situation and you take the steps to deal with that, the ones still kinda in it aren’t as close anymore… Because what’s there to talk about now that you moved on from the issues? And I guess it’s not all bad – if recognizing I’m moving another direction is influencing others to give it a try just when they’re around me… That can’t be all bad either.
Pisssshhhhhh….. you are who you are! Own it! Love it! Be it! I have run into this a lot out here in Effingham myself. Some people just don’t get me but like my dad said “screw ’em”… I do my thing and hang with my peeps like at #fancycoffeefriday 🙂
AHAHAHAHA!!! Ok no seriously. #fancycoffeefriday is BACK next week. For serious.
I don’t think swear words should be common in the workplace so I would feel awkward that he brought it up – maybe he has ulterior motives? Maybe he wants to get more about you or your faith and is just a weird person?
Personally I would wonder about anyone calling me a God fearing woman and wonder how old they think I am to use that phrasing never mind how weird they are for using that phrase but that’s me and nice to meet you! Glad we are in the same SITS tribe 🙂
I think in this case, he just wasn’t sure what was ok and what wasn’t, and he was trying to be respectful, which I totally appreciated. But it did make me feel like a fish out of water!
Oh, I know that feeling of being the “quirky, dorky one” quite well, and I say be proud and own it! Some people just don’t know how to act around people who truly walk their own walk and simply do what’s right by them. Keep on being your awesome self! I’m really looking forward to getting to know you better thanks to the SITS tribe – and I am beyond thrilled to have discovered your terrific self and site!
Thanks Ella! It’s great to meet you, too!
Unfortunately I feel like people are more comfortable voicing their judgments about someones beliefs than they really should be. So many times I have had to sit their and defend why I believe what I believe when really it shouldn’t matter at all. And I love that you believe in love as I too was in a somewhat similar situation!
Very much looking forward to getting to know you through SITS this week and further!
Exactly! I’m just gonna work on not feeling weird. I’m adding it to my to-do list: stop feeling weird!
I do feel a little weird when people cuss in front of me. Especially if they suddenly start doing it. Not sure why. I just try to ignore it and accept that they are not doing it to me. It’s just part of the language. I think some people definitely judge people who cuss, So what does it mean that someone is going out of their way to not do it around you? Are they judging you or are they afraid of being judged.
Man, who knows. It’s weird. People just need to chill out and stop worrying so much. Me included, probably.