In the past month or so, our 2 year old sleep routines have changed drastically.

Phil used to be pretty good about naps. Really good, even. We’d have our morning routine – breakfast around 6am, start work around 7am, snacks around 8:30, lunch somewhere around 11am, nap time around noonish. Two hours of glorious quiet time where Phil slept and I could make up for some of the ridiculousness that can happen when you juggle working at home and an energetic toddler.

2 years of this sweet sleep routine later, after toying around with the idea of tantrums for a couple of months, he has rocketed into the terrible twos. He has a voice. He has power. He knows he can say no.

And he does.

All. The. Time.

I know what you’re saying – not Phil! That sweet little guy with the heart-melting smile?

He’s a normal tantrummy 2 year old? One that all of a sudden doesn’t want to nap? Oh yes. All the way. With a cherry on top.

As both of us grow in age, abilities and responsibilities, we’re constantly adjusting and tweaking how the work day goes. Routines that used to work (like, cough cough, 3 hours of sleep in a baby swing while muhmuh worked) make way for new routines like scribbling in coloring books for an hour. And then getting caught adding some color to the chair.

Yesterday was a particularly rough day. We’re in that transition again; we’re trying to figure out the best way to do the work/mom/toddler dance together. And my 2 year old decided sleep was a thing of the past.

From 10:45am (he was packing train cases under those eyes!) until 12:45pm we went back and forth like this:

Work, work, work.

Patter of little feet coming down the hall.

“Phil, get back in your bed!”

This was followed by me running down the hall to pick him up and put him back in bed.

Oh also? He’s sleeping in a big boy bed now. Which makes getting him to nap just that much harder.

I talked about it a lot with my mom in law Carole yesterday. How I knew this 2 year old needs much more sleep than he’s getting. I told her what I had read about how much sleep kids need. How I’m his mom; I need to be making sure he’s getting his sleep. If he’s not getting the sleep he needs, then his parents are the ones to blame.

I read a lot of parenty type fare, because Phil’s my first. I want to do right by him. I want him to grow up healthy and as happy as I am today. I worry about screwing things up way more than I need to.

When he was born, we took a breast-feeding class where I was told he needs to eat every 2 hours. I made myself insane for the first 3 days of his life, setting timers and keeping track so I would not miss a single feeding for this kid.

When I talked about how stressed I was getting over this whole feeding thing, one of the hospital nurses calmly suggested, “Why don’t you just feed him when he gets hungry?”

Oh. DUH.

We changed tack and stopped keeping score. Phil was exactly where he needed to be weight-wise the next time he went to the doctor, and I relaxed.

We talked a lot about Phil’s naps yesterday. Carole suggested taking the word nap out of the equation entirely. He knows what a nap is, and he don’t wanna.

So instead, we’re going to try telling him it’s time to rest. You don’t have to sleep, but you need to play quietly in your room for an hour. Read books, play with your cars, whatever. Just take a little quiet time.

Because the reality is, with a 2 year old sleep is a pretty low priority. Especially when there’s chairs to be colored.

And when he really does need a nap, he’ll take it.

Have you gone through this same thing with your kids? How did you handle their resistance to naps?