hold on to your hats and glasses, this here’s the wildest ride in the west!!! i promise this entry will be much more exciting than yesterdays!

woah lookout!! there goes a ninja!

that was close, you almost got the crap beat outta you!!! here, sit down on this stool…waAAAAAAAHHHHH?!?!!? crap!!! sorry about that, the stool was riddled with termites! do you need an ambulance? you seem to have busted your rear! what’s that? you’re fine? where’d that crack come from, then?

colombia??! you bought your crack in columbia!!! what have i told you! the best crack cocaine can be found in the los angeles greyhound station at 3am!!! you never ever listen to me! not my fault you’re smokin low grade crack, my friend. i tried to tell you. you just never listen.

so today i robbed a bank, competed in the finals for the us women’s gymnastics team, cured fingernail cancer, changed my earrings, painted a big dollar sign on the hood of my car, mailed a crapload of paper to california, ate my weight in black and white m&ms, flipped off a bus full of blind kids, went with jenn to try my hand at poo lattes, flew in a hot air balloon across the state and back in 30 minutes (or your money back), froze my rear off for the total of 10 seconds i was actually outside in the 10 degree weather (-11degrees with the wind chill equals a very angree steph), threw a couch out the window, saved ten old ladies from a burning house, and made a fish brick, veggies and rice for dinner.

you only wish your life was as action-packed.