Wheeeeee, here’s the other thing I wrote while I was bored yesterday. Enjoy or die!

******************************************

“What can I getcha?”

“Can I get a Smirnoff Ice – and I have a coupon for 2 dollars off. Can I use it here?”

“Lemme see” (bartender chick takes coupon, walks over by the register where there is slightly better light – possibly given off by the money. big pause while she reads the entire sheet of paper, smiles, kind of chuckles to herself, walks back over to where I’m standing at the bar.) “Well this coupon is for Peabodys, and you’re at Denny’s. I would do it for you, but I don’t think my manager would like that very much.”

“Oh, that’s okay. How much do I owe you?”

“2 dollars.”

The end.

This is possibly how the quarter thing got started: one of my roommates offered me a quarter to have a conversation with a mouthful of food with my other roommate while we were trying to order coffee from the cute coffee guy at Gallery Espresso. i don’t think i ever did catch his name; I just called him cute coffee guy. And cute coffee guy had a very good sense of humor about the whole thing; if I remember right he took a couple of bites out of a muffin or something so he’d fit in better when he talked to us.

I don’t remember all the dumb things I’ve done for 25 cents, because the mind is a powerful tool and thankfully blocks out some of the truly bad stuff. Or I’m just dumb. More likely than either of these is that there has just been too darn many stoopid bets for me to keep track. In any case, here’s some things I do remember getting quarters for:

-had a conversation with a mouthful of food

-stood with my elbows sticking out in a very crowded bar for 15 minutes

-acted like a monkey in front of some Savannah tourists

-said an obscenity out the car window at some other Savannah tourists

-yelled “Matt rocks!” at the end of scad’s production of Tommy

-ate a dog biscuit

-ate a different brand of dog biscuit

-bet on what time Dan would show up to B&B Billiards

-pretended to be a lesbian at Starbucks

-went up to a group of drunk guys at a restaurant, said “dude”, then walked away

-ordered blueberry compost instead of compote on my pancakes at IHOP

-pulled my friend’s hair (not hard, mind you, I’m not that kind of jerk.)

-wore a cardboard box on my head while one of my roommates and I walked across Forsythe Park

-wore a respirator mask on my head while at the grocery store with that same roommate

-cartwheeled through the Glendale Galleria, saying “Up with people!” in between each cartwheel

-did some random stuff on the kids playground at the L.A. Zoo

-acted lost, and asked the parking lot attendant at Knott’s Berry Farm how to get to Disneyland

-sat in haunted house rocking chair at Knott’s Berry Farm

-took a sip of taco sauce and root beer mixed together at Del Taco

-handed off a yoinked bottle of ketchup from Johnny Rockets to a random stranger at The Block

-lay face down on the parking garage floor at ThinkBox and sang “Feliz Navidad”

-ate all the ketchup in one of those little ketchup cups from McDonalds

-ate all the barbeque sauce in another little cup

-balanced my cd case on my head while I drove from Appleton to Oshkosh

-used (or tried to use, anyways) a very expired peabody’s coupon at denny’s

Please note that this list doesn’t include all of the stoopid stuff I’ve done for free, like the occasional rearignments my sister gives me or the ramifications of losing at Tekken Tag when I would play against Donovan.