We… have had our hands full lately, Josh and I.

That is an understatement.

Along with our crazy work schedules and ten acres of fixer-upper farm to contend with, there are two small children that we just can’t seem to stop taking care of.

We just like them is all.

That doesn’t always mean they’re behaving, guys.

Phil’s been hitting a new stage that’s been really tough on all of us. He’s not a baby anymore, he’s all of a sudden this little man that talks about engineering things. He gets himself dressed almost 100% of the time now. He wants to fly a fighter jet when he grows up.

But he’s not a grown up yet.

And after months of finally adjusting pretty well to having a baby sister, he’s flung himself headlong into adulthood and is fighting. With. Us. About. Everything.

Like what to wear, what to eat, what to play with, what to watch on Netflix, where to go, what to snack on, what colors to color with, oh and bedtime.

Especially bedtime.

And sometimes, when he really gets going, he says terrible things. Because he’s four years old, he wants to make me feel just the way he does, and to him the best way to do that is to say things that will hurt my feelings.

“You’re not my best friend anymore!” he yelled from his bed tonight. “I’m not going to let you play with me anymore!”

He went on to describe how I would have to watch him play with toys, but I wouldn’t be allowed to play with him. Because, he said again, I’m not his best friend anymore. And while it was obviously a silly thing that a toddler was screaming in anger over not getting his way… It was still a punch in the muhmuh gut that made me wanna eat my feelings with a side order of five gallons of ice cream.

It’s moments like these, parents, where we have a choice.

We can choose to have hurt feelings. We can yell something just as hurtful back – maybe something to the effect of “There’s the door, don’t let it hit you on the way out.”

Or we can take a deep breath and teach our kids about unconditional love.

When our kids yell something terrible at us because they’re upset, we can calmly come back with “You’re still my best friend in the whole wide world, and I still love you very much.”

A half hour later, my son emerged from his room drenched in sweat; he had been angrily hiding under his bed’s thick comforter in this super warm Georgia evening. When he asked for help because his pajamas were completely soaked… I could’ve told him suck it, you were mean, go back to bed.

I sat down on the floor of the bathroom and told my little boy he had said some things that really hurt my feelings. And that I didn’t have to help him, because he was really mean to me.

I told him even when he was angry with me, even when he didn’t think he liked me anymore, that I still loved him very, very much, and that I would help him get cleaned up.

And then I put him to bed and ate my feelings with a side order of five gallons of ice cream.

How do you handle it when your kid says something awful?

I would love to hear your take in the comments. Stay strong, parents. We’re in this together.

But hands off my ice cream.