We held off on telling Phil about his new baby sister (that gets here FRIDAY!) just as long as we held off on telling the rest of the world. Issues getting early stage pregnancies to progress in the past, not wanting to have to explain “well it’s not happening after all…” We just kept it under wraps until we were solidly in second trimester.

Josh and I had to tell him on September 13, when we surprised him for his birthday with the racecar bed our friend Kathi from church was getting rid of.

“I want MY bed back,” he said kind of rear endheadedly.

So that was the moment. We had to tell him well, see, um… We need your old bed to turn back into a crib for your baby brother or sister.

For the longest time, he told everyone he was having a baby brother. And that his baby brother would be named Gideon, just like his favorite baby in the nursery at church. He would tell me how my baby boy would be just as big as Gideon when he was born. And I would cringe.

Because you see, Gideon is a year old. Which is quite a bit bigger than your standard newborn.

The weekend before we had the ultrasound to find out what we were having, Phil finally accepted that it might just be a girl in there.

Thankfully.

Because it IS a girl in there.

He’s been super on board with having a sister since then, and it’s heart-meltingly cute how he’ll hug my stomach and talk to it. He has full on 15 minute conversations with his baby sister, telling her about his day, or how he has special toys that she has to be gentle with or else they’ll break.

I’ll grab each side of my big fat belly and shake it around, answering him in funny voices. (I’m not sure if that part is as cute, but he seems to dig it.)

Josh and I have known there’s going to be emotional transitions for Phil when this girl actually gets here for reals. I don’t think we quite expected it to come out the way that it did, though.

Last Monday on our day off, all three of us were sitting out in the backyard. I had my feet up; Phil and dad were deep in conversation about how much dad dislikes pimples.

After a bit, Phil turned back to his sand table and started playing with construction site cars.

As he pushed some sand around with his bulldozer, a question came from out of the blue.

“Will you still love me when my baby sister gets here?”

I’m pretty sure I had the same exact WTF JUST HAPPENED look on my face that Josh shot over to me. We were both kind of stunned silent that this little boy questioned whether or not we would always love and take care of him.

We’ve been making a point of bringing that fear up in conversation here and there over the past week, to try and talk it out. We’re trying to make sure Phil knows that babies need a lot of help with a lot of things, but that mom and dad are always, ALWAYS going to love him and we’ll always take care of him, too.

It feels like such a ridiculous question. But totally valid at the same time…

From the mouths of babes, y’all.

I’ve been trying to make him realize that he’s not the only one that’s worried. I talk to him about how his dog Betty has been really anxious and clingy lately (which is 100% true). She’s a high strung dog to begin with, and she’s been noticing how much organizing, cleaning, preparations are happening around the house for a change. She’s worried. My hope is telling Phil he’s not alone in wondering what’s going to happen will help him a little.

I need to stop being so floored by the things that Phil thinks about at 3 and a half years old, and the questions he asks. The kid is deep, and he’s not afraid to let us know it. I’m grateful that he lets us into those thoughts. I’m glad he feels like he can say this stuff to us, so we can work on helping him understand and get past the fears.

If you’ve had more than one kid, did you ever get this kind of question? How did you deal with it?

If you’ve got any tips or tricks for smoothing the transition from having one kid to having two, I’d love for you to leave ‘em in the comments! I’m sure Phil would appreciate it, too!