So as you read in Part 1 of our Fun with Phishing Scams adventure, this scammer Matheis wants to give me 13 million dollars.  I sent him a short sweet reply asking for more info, and I got the following:

Now, that screengrab is totally tiny – read on for what his email said:

Sir,

Thank you very much for your respond.

As I have briefly explained in my previous message to you, my late client, died in a car accident with his wife and their only daughter here in my country, and the bank where he deposited the sum of (US$13,500,000.00) has issued me a notice as his personal lawyer to provide his next of kin, Brother, Sister OR Any OF HIS Family Relatives to receive the money he died and left behind, and I have been trying to locate any of the family members to my late client, before I came across your contact in Facebook and decided to contact you. Since you are bearing the same surname with my late client, I am sure you must related to him.

Therefore, i have to present you to the bank as one of his relatives, then the bank will transfer the money into your bank account, or into any new bank account you may purpose, then both of us will share the money. The next of kinship as stated by the inheritance law, is not limited to relations of the deceased nor is it confided to the circuit of parental relationship, rather it is by choice of the benefactor as regards to whom he wish to will it to (beneficiary) either formally by write up ,or informally by secret information disclosure to beneficiary, be him/ her business partner, relation, kinsmen, friend or well wisher, therefore by virtue of the above stated, I seek consent to present you as the next of kin to my late client since the supposed next of kin also died along with him.

The bank law where he deposited the money stipulates that after 5years without any of his relation applying for receiving of the money, that the money will be transferred into the government treasury as unclaimed fund and I would not like the money to go into government treasury because I will not gain anything, so it is better that you receive the money and both of us will share it.

All i will require is your honest co-operation because the Bank where he deposited the money is now waiting for me to come forward with the information of the next of kin to enable them process the transfer of the money.

Also provide me your information as listed below to enable me present you to the Bank as the relative of my late client:

Your full name: …..
Home address: …….
Country: …….
Age: …………….
Sex: ………….
Marital Status……
Mobile No: ……….
Occupation: ………

Upon receipt of this information from you and your rearurance that you will not betray me after the transfer of this money into your bank account, then I will quickly take your name and contacts to Bank thereby introduce you as the relative to my late client. After this has been done, the bank will contact you for the transfer of the money into the account you will provide.

Because i am looking forward to conclude this business within 7banking working days, then travel to meet you for my own share of the money and divert into establishment or go into joint lucrative business venture with you in your country.

Finally, i will like you to keep everything about this business secret and confidential until the bank transfers the money into your account.

Call me immediately you send your information as noted above. (+228) 96158972

Best regards
Barrister Matheis Emeila Esq

Obviously, he’s interested in getting this going! But I needed more info. So I sent this back to him:

Hi Matheis!

I’m looking forward to working together on this! I’m sure this was an oversight seeing as you’ve been to my Facebook profile, but I’m a ma’am not a sir. Steph is short for Stephanie. No worries, I get that a lot from potential clients before they chat with me on the phone. Some people think it’s short for Stephen. But I rearure you, I’m a proper lady.

Can I ask what your client’s surname is? Calvert is my married name, and if you’re looking for next of kin I’m sure you’ve seen other family members that are actual Calverts by blood not marriage that this money should go to. I mean, I’m the best smelling of the bunch, so I’ve got that going for me, I just wanted to make sure that my married name and talent for smelling like a tropical getaway was enough to qualify me for the funds.

Which bank will we be going to? Do I need a passport? Will I need to take an extended vacation from work? How long should I tell my boss I’ll be away? That’s such a great amount of money, but I really think I’ll keep working after I receive it. I don’t want to let it go to my head and change me.

Will I need to open an account at the bank we’re going to? Can we do this at a credit union instead so I get better interest rates? Will they present me the money on a ridiculously oversized cardboard check to deposit at my own bank? I’ve always wanted to get one of those. I’ll also accept a briefcase full of dollar bills. Whichever is easier for them.

On the note of the supposed next of kin – I didn’t get an invite to any funeral, and I’m kind of peeved about it. Do you have a current phone number for my husband’s Aunt Mabel? She disconnected her old cell number and blocked me on Facebook, and I can only imagine it’s out of sheer jealousy that I smell so dang good all the time.

Plus, I have really great hair.

I’m right with you on not wanting the government to get ahold of the money, sir. I’ll be responsible for taxes on this, though, correct? How much in capital gains can I expect to pay on my tax return next year? Or does this qualify as one of those one-time gifts? Should I get you to fill out a tax form for me so I can have all your info for my accountant? Let me know, I’ll ask him what form I’ll need you to fill out. Better send me your social security number right off the bat just in case.

I can rearure you I’m ready to offer my full cooperation – here’s the info you asked for:

Your full name: Steph Calvert
Home address: Unfortunately, I’ve recently become homeless. But if you look behind your local Kroger grocery store, you’ll find me hunkered down in a cardboard box. You could address any mail to STEPH’S CARDBOARD BOX, c/o Kroger – the post office knows where to find me. Mostly because I share all the day old bread with my letter carrier. She’s really nice, you’d like her. Would you want to come have lunch with us sometime?
Country: ……. USA! USA! USA!
Age: ……………. 37
Sex: …………. no thanks I’m married
Marital Status…… see above
Mobile No: ………. Verizon shut off my phone once I became homeless, sorry. I don’t even have email anymore.
Occupation: ……… Professional Jackrear

I can rearure you I won’t betray you, and that I’ll very honestly take your money. I’ll need to go in person to the bank with you, correct? Again, let me advise you to go through a credit union on this one. I’ve gone with major banks before and credit unions, and man. Credit unions all the way.

I’m really interested in learning more about the joint business venture you’d mentioned – tell me more!

Looking forward to working together,
steph

Don’t miss Matheis’ reply in part 3 of our Fun with Phishing Scams series!